Emerging from the shadows...

Venturing towards the bright lights of social media without my sick bag

The first time I heard a manager at work recite the quote: “Bring your whole self to work” I almost vomited in my mouth. I am all about being authentic and open – and have definitely been guilty of oversharing with my desk buddies over the years – but to embrace this as a general concept was not only bile inducing but not very smart. I felt, especially as a manager, they should keep their cards close to their chest to avoid people gaining too much insight into their life. It will just spread fodder for gossip and ridicule. It truly baffled me that this manager was so open to share intimate details of their life with everyone at the workplace. I tried to understand the concept and feel happy for her that she was living her authentic self in every part of her life but I often cringed so much I felt I had slumped under the desk in a fever, picking up the pieces of her shame that she was unaware she had dropped. But as my career progressed and I entered the world of ghostwriting, I helped already fabulous people not only bring their whole selves to work, but show themselves to large audiences, warts and all. And it worked. Everyone loved them for being real. It was only then that the cringe factor faded away and I slowly understood why this was an important and wise affirmation…but still not for me. I thrived in being the invisible figure in the background that helped others shine. For three years I sat in the shadows and had a successful business through word-of-mouth recommendations from clients. My reputation grew underground – away from the bright lights of social media. I was getting away with not having to play the social media game and relished every minute of the anonymity. The less people knew I existed behind the faces and words of successful business people and authors, the more private satisfaction I gained. Friends and colleagues would often ask me when I am going to step out of the shadows and show myself to the world and the answer was a flat out “never”. But I knew the day was coming to emerge from the shadows and I had a crew of friends and professionals ready and excited to uncover me. The time had come to really step into my business and I would have to bare all. Was I going to “bring my whole self to work”? Would I make people vomit in their mouths? Would I be the Queen of Cringe? I didn’t step out of the shadows alone. I had supportive arms linking me along the way as I stepped toward the light and others to grab me and turn me back as I bolted back to the darkness where my soul felt at ease. To bring my whole self to work, I recalled a quote that I have resonated with my whole life: “Fortune favours the brave”. And with the help of some confidence-boosting friends and professionals, I took my first steps out of the shadows. Standing in the light doesn’t feel embarrassing when you are being your authentic self – I am not scrambling to pick up the pieces of shame I have dropped along the way. While I will continue to work in the shadows as a ghostwriter, I am proud to share what I do to let others know I am here and ready to work on new projects.

writeforyou.info Elaine Cooney (@writeforyouec) • Instagram photos and videos writeforyouec@gmail.com

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